@drjaderedfern - IGDataHub

Dr Jade - Clinical Psychologist & Parenting Coach

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@drjaderedfern

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Meltdowns, big reactions, not listening Psychologist & Mum of 3 Discipline w/out damage, emotion regulation skills 👇 Grab my quiz & regulation tools

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#calmerparenting #calmthechaos #bedtimebattles #meltdowns #nervoussystemregulation #consciousparenting #cbeebiesparentingdownload #parenting #whitelies

Recent posts

➡️ Comment ‘QUIZ’ Parenting isn’t just about how we handle our kids’ emotions- it’s also about how we handle our own.  The truth is, your body has its own stress response that shows up fast in heated moments. This is your Parenting Stress Archetype    And it’s the hidden reason why your reactions feel automatic, even when you know exactly how you want to respond.  When you know your archetype, you unlock the strategies to actually shift it.  That’s what my free quiz (created by @drjaderedfern, Clinical Psychologist & mum of 3) is for… And takes just 2 minutes, & you’ll receive a personalised video from me, plus x5 nervous system tools that work in real-life parenting moments.  ➡️ Comment (or DM me) ‘QUIZ’ & I’ll send it right to you #calmerparenting #calmthechaos #bedtimebattles #meltdowns #nervoussystemregulation #consciousparenting 16 Aug 2025

Hi 👋 I figured it’s only fair, for you to be following me, for you to also know a little about me, and why I do what I do 🙏 I do like to write a lot, so I’ve tried to keep it short and sweet That’s MY STORY 💜 (well 10 slides worth anyway 😆) My hope, my one wish is a world where we can feel free to be who it is we are, not who it is society or others expect us to be!! 🫶 08 Nov 2023

Caving doesn’t make you a pushover… it makes you human 👇 But boundaries aren’t about control. They help children feel safe and contained while they learn to manage big feelings and a boundary held ‘firm but kind’ says “I’ve got this, even when you don’t” For parents of under 10s who find holding boundaries hard when the tears start. “It’s okay to be cross. And the answer is still no” Save this for the next boundary meltdown, and follow for more x 10 Nov 2026

Okay jokes aside 🤣 you gotta try this one 👇 Regulating yourself, when your kids are driving you up the wall does not need to be complicated I recommend this strategy to all my clients and use it regularly myself… SING (what would have otherwise come out as a yell) Notice your jaw and teeth clenching, the heat rising in your chest Then SING - it activates your vocal cords, and creates a release and regulates you, bringing you into the present moment - and your body feels safer Add some dance moves too 💃🏼 (just don’t copy mine 😂😂) So I double dare you today - try this out, let me know who’s in? 🥳 Let’s sing our way to feeling calmer and more in control of our reactions with our kids For more fun and science-back ways to regulate your nervous system as a parent… Comment QUIZ to take my free quiz & in under 2 minutes receive regulation tools & personalised tips to get started today! (Make sure you’re following @drjaderedfern first, so I can share the link with you) x 09 Nov 2026

No. 4 sounds weird but is a game changer Regulation is NOT hard- it’s a skill & skills can be learnt But the most important part, is that they become integrated, when you practice them simply as part of your everyday life Tired of snapping, yelling & then feeling sh*t about yourself? 🔥Comment QUIZ & I’II send the link so you can start creating your own regulation toolkit & practice, starting today!! 1. STOP the scroll, put your phone down and STRETCH... move your body for just 30 seconds! 2. Whilst boiling the kettle/ making your coffee - breath (in through you nose, out through your mouth - SLOWLY) 3. BREATHE - whilst sitting on the loo, brushing your teeth 4. UNCLENCH YOUR JAW - wiggle it, wobble it, release tension everywhere you go! 5. Get in the car - PAUSE, BREATHE, SQUEEZE the steering wheel and release x3 times, before driving on. 6. Before getting out the car - BREATHE, take a minute, you really aren’t in a rush, or under attack! SLOW DOWN 7. Say out loud “[YOUR NAME], pause, slow down” and breathe, every morning, when you notice yourself rushing There are so many ways to weave regulation into your everyday life! Lack of time can no longer be our excuse - okay? Deal?!! Let’s do this!! Follow for more regulation tips @drjaderedfern (Clinical Psychologist & mum if 3) ⤵️ Then comment “QUIZ” to take my quiz & in under 2 mins receive regulation tools & personalised tips to get started today! 22 Mar 2026

As a psychologist, I see this pattern often in families When children experience a repeated cycle of tension, yelling, then repair, they can become incredibly sensitive to the build-up of tension. They don’t want the yelling. But they do want the tension to end. So when they sense the storm coming, they may become even more dysregulated. Not because they’re “being naughty.” Not because they’re trying to upset you. But because their nervous system has learnt that once the explosion happens... ...everyone can finally breathe again. The hug comes. The repair happens. The connection returns. The good news is, it doesn’t have to stay this way When you learn to recognise your own triggers before they build, regulate your nervous system and release stress in healthier ways... your child no longer has to wait for the explosion to feel safe and connected again. To understand your biggest parenting trigger, I’ve created a free 2-minute Parenting Regulation Quiz that gives you a personalised toolkit based on your results. Comment QUIZ & I’II send it right to you x (make sure you’re following first, to receive the link) 💜 06 Nov 2026

‘There is no such thing as a perfect parent’ Ever told a small lie to your child to get them to do what you are asking? 👀 Clinical psychologist @drjaderedfern shares how your next white lie could be a good learning opportunity for you and your child. She joins @katiethistleton and @guvnab on the latest episode of the CBeebies Parenting Download podcast, all about fibs, deception and how we can teach our children about lying, alongside The Traitors S4 winner @rachel.dufffy. What’s the biggest white lie you’ve caught yourself telling your child? 👀💭 We’d love to hear more in the comments ✍️ #cbeebiesparentingdownload #parenting #whitelies 04 Nov 2026

We have to reframe what ‘not listening’ really means if we want effective tools that work Remember no healthy child ‘always complies’ in fact, any that do I genuinely worry about them and their development Our kids are not robots and they need our help to work with their developing brains not against them But… Some things may be boring or annoying to a child, like brushing teeth or putting shoes on but they are necessary tasks that need to get done 1. Make it fun, silly and playful as much as possible   2. Child still doesn’t/ can’t cooperate this is wear our leadership, regulation and boundaries come into play But how we set boundaries, the words and tone we use, and how we tolerate pushback makes all the difference to the likelihood our kids will want to or be able to cooperate with us more of the time I’ll be sharing more tips & strategies over the coming days & weeks on boundaries, not listening & regulation for our kids (and for us parents!) So follow @drjaderedfern for more on this And drop a 🥳 in the comments if you want more specific tools and strategies on boundaries ⤵️ 04 Nov 2026

3 ways to regulate our emotions, instead of yelling 👇  Just ‘stopping yelling’ doesn’t work, because the stress has to come out somehow…  1). Release tension in your jaw - massage it, wriggle it  2). SING - what would normally have come out as a yell, try and sing it instead…  3). Breathe (we often hold our breath) and MOVE your body - shake, dance, any movement helps release stress  Yelling is NOT a bad or faulty part of you. It is a sign you need more regulation tools and ways to express stress from your body.  Want to know why YOU keep yelling, and what actually helps?  ⤵️ Comment QUIZ for my free 2-minute quiz and get your main stress response and personalised regulation tools, so you’re not just trying to ‘stay calm’ until you explode 03 Nov 2026

Most parents say “You’ll be fine”, or something like:  “You’ll have fun when you get there” “I know but you get to see all your friends”  Trying to convince our kids why they have to go, or that they’ll enjoy it once they’re there, tends to backfire and increases resistance.  When you meet your child where they are and acknowledge the feelings beneath the resistance, they’re much more likely to have a good day, regardless of how they feel.  Try this instead:  “I know you don’t want to go to school… which bit of half-term did you enjoy the most?”  “If you were headteacher for the day, what’s one rule you would change?”  “Going back to school is hard, and we can do hard things. I can’t wait to pick you up this afternoon and go/play _____”  Name the wish Name the feeling Name the struggle  Instead of trying to convince them out of their feelings.  Who here also did not want to go back to work today?  Hit save and share this with another mum who could use this support xx 02 Nov 2026

Examples ⤵️ Request: “Stop jumping on the sofa” (child keeps jumping, it’s fun) Boundary: “wow jumping is fun, let’s jump like frogs over here” (parent helps lift child off, to have fun jumping where it’s safe/ okay to do) Child may be upset, that’s their feelings about it, redirect with fun, connection and silliness, maintaining the boundary YOU set/ uphold Example 2: Request: “please turn the tv off now” (Child yells “NO, 5 more minutes”) Feelings plus push back - child is doing their job ✅ Boundary: “I love TV too, it’s hard to turn off. I’m turning the TV off now, let’s go outside and play” (Parent upholds the boundary, child screams, parent uses fun, silliness, connection & leadership to help ‘lead’ child to the next activity) Setting boundaries can bring up so much for us! Especially if you struggle with people pleasing and regulation. Tolerating pushback is exhausting More on this coming 👀 stay tuned Struggling with boundaries? Drop yours in the comments - I’ll respond with an insight or tip to help you move forward x 31 Oct 2026

Parents of sensitive kids, too often think they are failing… 💔 when it is just not true.   Many sensitive kids (who are incredible kids btw) feel things more deeply and don’t respond well to ‘straight validation’ so naming the feeling directly It feels too intense to them.   So instead a few options:   1. Say nothing - yes zip it. Especially if they are already highly dysregulated, You can be validating non-verbally with your body language  2. Say ‘It makes sense…’ It makes sense you feel annoyed, sad, frustrated (a child feels much less alone, when feelings are permitted and they make sense  3. Focus on your own regulation, much more than theirs (they will learn self-regulation through you, watching and experirencing your regulation, more than anything else)  To grab my free guide on how to ‘calm’ and regulate your own emotions, to help your child with theirs, esp in the presence of big emotions and meltdowns…   Comment CALM & I’ll send it straight to you x   (must be following @drjaderedfern to be able to receive the free guide to your DMs) x 30 Oct 2026

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DNbFKd8MtdZ	➡️ Comment ‘QUIZ’ Parenting isn’t just about how…
CzYpL_FMBsq	Hi 👋 I figured it’s only fair, for you to be fol…
DfkGkjCICOb	Caving doesn’t make you a pushover… it makes you…

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shortcode	caption	likes	comments
DNbFKd8MtdZ	➡️ Comment ‘QUIZ’ Parenting isn’t just about how…
CzYpL_FMBsq	Hi 👋 I figured it’s only fair, for you to be fol…
DfkGkjCICOb	Caving doesn’t make you a pushover… it makes you…

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username	full_name	user_id	is_verified	is_private	profile_pic_url

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Everyone they follow

up to 705 accounts

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Every account this one follows, same fields.

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username	full_name	user_id	is_verified	is_private	profile_pic_url

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