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Bio
Comic and Midlife Crisis Actor One half of @beautifulboyspod 🎙️ YES I'M ON TOUR 👇
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Recent posts
Alexa, play 'Under Pressure' by David Bowie
#standupcomedy #peer #pressure #comedy #reels
30 Jul 2026
I don't make the rules #standupcomedy #soccer #comedy
04 May 2026
You all brought this on yourselves #standupcomedy #Tesla #comedy #reels
11 May 2026
They don’t prepare you for the questions.
Come see me on tour!!!
Chicago all weekend, then Vancouver, Winnipeg, LA, Phoenix and CDMX, HTX, NOLA, and much more in 2027.
Link in bio.
#standup #comedy #parenting #inclusion #toddler
13 Nov 2026
Using AI as your therapist. @beautifulboyspod 🎥 @nicolelyonsproductions #ATCpresents #beautifulboys
11 Nov 2026
A poetic discussion about male bodies by the Beautiful Boys w/ @iammikecannon & @imandyhaynes
🎥 @nicolelyonsproductions
10 Nov 2026
I’m getting out there!!!
Next up Cleveland this Thursday @hilarities
Friday and Saturday 11/13–14 @thecomedybar Chicago
Thursday 11/19 @littlemountaingallery Vancouver
Saturday 11/21 @thebasementwpg Winnipeg
All tickets in link in bio.
#andyhaynes #standupcomedy #tour #dates
10 Nov 2026
CHRIS REDD, ANDREW POLK, SALTY MOMS THIS WEEK ON TOLEDANO STREET AND WE’RE ALMOST SOLD OUT // we’ve got an election party at 9p tonight (tuesday) after polk’s show, all the normal wednesday shenanigans, no events on thursday, then four shows with chris redd & two shows with amy brown & holly ballentine this weekend // rest of the year & into 2027 ⬇️
NOVEMBER
November 3: Andrew Polk (8p)
November 6-7: Chris Redd (7p & 9p)
November 8: Salty Moms Comedy Tour (6p & 8p)
November 11: Sam Tallent (7p & 9p)
November 12: Moral Panic (7p) / BK Sharad (9p)
November 13-14: TBA SOON (7p & 9p)
November 16: Burn This Record Showcase (9p)
November 19: BING-OH (7p) / Jay Badlani (9p)
November 20-21: TBA SOON (7p & 9p)
November 22: Jaboukie Young-White (5p, 7p, & 9p) SOLD OUT
November 28: Tim Smith (7p & 9p)
November 29: TBA SOON (7p & 9p)
DECEMBER
December 3: Spelling Bee (7p) / Luke Null & Friends (9p)
December 4-6: Liza Treyger (7p & 9p)
December 10: Moral Panic (7p) / John F. O’Donnell (9p)
December 11-12: Olivia Carter (7p & 9p)
December 17: Bing-OH (7p) / Trust Me I’m A Professional (9p)
December 18-19: Harry Settel (7p & 9p)
December 20: King Bo (7p & 9p)
December 26: Christmas Show (8p)
JANUARY
January 2: Fifty First Jokes (7p & 9p)
January 3: Jasmine Ellis (7p & 9p)
January 4-5: Sheng Weng (7p & 9p)
January 7: Spelling Bee (7p) / Moral Panic (9p)
January 8: Tom Thakkar (7p & 9p)
January 9: Dina Hashem (7p & 9p)
January 14: Bing-Oh (7p) / Trust Me I’m A Professional (9p)
January 15-16: Zainab Johnson (7p & 9p)
January 21: Maggie Winters (7p & 9p)
January 22-23: Andy Haynes (7p & 9p)
January 28: Pendejo Time (7p & 9p)
January 29-31: Pat Burtscher (10p)
03 Nov 2026
lets get some robot de niro lines going in the comments
03 Nov 2026
Big Divorce Energy!!!
Come see me live:
SLC 11/6
Park City 11/7
Cleveland 11/12
Chicago 11/13-14
Vancouver 11/19
Winnipeg 11/20-21
LA 12/2
Phoenix 12/5
Ticket link in bio…
30 Oct 2026
Punched in a haunted house
🎥: @nicolelyonsproductions
29 Oct 2026
Our infrastructure is crumbling, our government keeps failing us at every level. So go out and vote, let’s hold these people in positions of power, accountable.
#vote
28 Oct 2026
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