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Bio
Current Content Enforcer and Former Management Assistant for the Chicks
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Recent posts
I had the privilege of watching the dress rehearsal of @thechicks TTLW20 show in Detroit tonight, as my work sabbatical—and my official Chicks Deputy responsibilities—have now begun.
Y’ALL AIN’T READY.
🚨 URGENT ALERT for those with tickets in Detroit: BE IN YOUR SEATS BY 7:30. You do NOT want to miss some incredible never-before-seen footage! 🚨
29 Sep 2026
I tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the piano before heading to my 9 to 5 this morning. Here is a rough cut of me accompanying an acapella version of the all-time legend, Dolly Parton. At the risk of being Captain Obvious, it’s impossible to imagine the success of @thechicks without Dolly trailblazing the way.
27 Aug 2026
ICYMI: Amidst the exciting hubbub of today’s 20th anniversary album drop, @thechicks added three more dates to their sold-out fall tour: a new Philly stop, a return to Boston, and a third date in Hollywood.
Tickets go on sale THIS THURSDAY (8/13) at 10 a.m. local time. Peeps who subscribe to the CHX newsletter should have received a presale code for an artist presale tomorrow (8/11).
10 Aug 2026
@thechicks superfans in the house!
08 Aug 2026
When @martiemaguire arrived at the airport with her stylish fringe, everyone insisted she stand next to me and my new cowboy hat, which is spacious enough to fit my elephantine noggin.
20 Jul 2026
Thank you to CTV—Canada’s #1 cable news network—for indirectly recognizing that #theChicksSocialMedia accounts are the preeminent source of news related to the maintenance of the Angus L. Macdonald Bridge’s lane control system.
#validation #AngusLMacdonaldBridgeUpdates
30 Jun 2026
I’m back from Halifax, where I survived my first gig as the @ChicksDeputy. I returned with footage of the festival from my new 360 camera and SLR—both of which I recently purchased to provide you peeps with higher-quality visuals than the PalmPilot Treo dot matrix photos and caveman drawings I gave you back in 2006.
But of course, I forgot that with the Chicks, you can never actually plan content. The content just announces itself.
Case in point: the Chicks insisted we start with footage of Natalie providing cosmetic relief for someone’s swollen blood vessels.
On the bright side, this first piece of exclusive content includes audio of Nat singing snippets of the Crystal Gayle classic, “Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue.”
To my great discomfort, however, the accompanying visual is an uncomfortably tight close-up of my unsightly face. You see, my red-eye flight to Nova Scotia gave me literal red eyes, which prompted Natalie and Dean (the Chicks’ glam guru) to insist on pumping mysterious blue drops into them.
I suppose I should have expected this. After all, some of the “exclusive access” I provided 20 years ago involved photos of Martie insistently popping an angry pimple on my face.
In sum, not much has changed in two decades. The Chicks still cannot ignore whatever imperfections happen to be staining my face, which in turn, provides you with exclusive content (or an excuse to unfollow).
Welcome to the Chicks’ social media in 2026!
#OptometricksWithTheChicks
29 Jun 2026
Someone next to me looked up the post I shared yesterday on @thechicks account. This is a screen capture of her screen.
If you flyspeck it carefully, you’ll see that Instagram’s AI suggested—based on her looking at this post— that she might be interested in “William Hung’s life after fame.”
My post said nothing about American Idol legend and Cal alum William Hung!
She had never done a search for William Hung. And unlike me, she had never in her life expressed an interest in WH’s life.
Did anybody else get this AI suggestion?
What the actual she-banging outrageousness is this, IG? I am not as handsome as William Hung!
25 Jun 2026
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10 Nov 2026
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