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In search of authentic expression and meaningful connection. Let's connect and build together š
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Recent posts
The last time I posted a video of myself rapping, I wrote about how hard it can be to embrace imperfect action.
I needed to practice expressing myself in such contexts to be able to build up the courage to share what means the most to me.
That video was surprisingly well-received! So 3 days ago, I used that momentum to share the very first video related to my greatest passion and purpose in life: launching my online Personal Growth after-school program, Tangible Growth.
I actually feel really proud of. In it, I explained a lesson that made a tremendous impact on my students and is indicative of what my teaching style is all about. I felt like I pretty much nailed it.
But it failed to connect with the audience I hoped it would. It failed to generate the feedback or encouragement I was looking for to continue to build my momentum and courage.
Now I know that itās absolutely idiotic to care about likes and reactions on social media. I know it makes no sense to tie peopleās opinions/response to you to your own self-esteem. I know weāve got to follow our highest joy and intuition with absolutely no expectations for how it will play out and that external results are no measure of internal growth.
Iāve gotten sooo much better at all of these things, and yetā¦.
I still felt pain. I still felt doubt. Was it the algorithm that caused this video to flop or was it me? Maybe nobody understands what Iām trying to do or why it matters⦠Maybe Iām just wrong.
It still took me a couple days of intentional seeking of wonder and connection to bounce back.
I wanted to share this so openly because I know thereās someone out there facing the same challenges. Some of you have told me youāre really amazed by how I have been leaning into authentic vulnerability, and that itās inspirational to you.
I want you to know that Iām not doing anything special. Iām just leaning out of my comfort zone and stretching a bit.
You can do it too. šŖšŖšŖ
*Continued in comments
25 Apr 2023
Our most recent episode of Live at the Complex @thecomplexsf was a fundraiser for the non-profit organization Beats, Rhymes, and Life @hiphoptherapy.
They work with youth from the ages of 12-23 on how to use writing/lyricism, beatmaking/production, and performance as tools for mental health.
I firmly believe that all the negative we experience in life is not the opposite of happiness and success but instead an integral component of it.
When we fall, fail, lose, and are rejected, we are building up powerful energy within us. As we store that energy, it serves as an anchor that weighs us down. The weight becomes debilitating, crushing, paralyzing, and highly destructive. š
But when we figure out how to alchemize it⦠to transmute it⦠it serves as fuel to rocket us forward. ššš
Iām blessed to be surrounded by friends who have discovered this Philosopherās Stone. They inspire me daily as they share their pain and struggles with me, and I watch them transform it into purpose and wondrous art/productivity. ššš
This is how Iāve launched myself forward seemingly so rapidly. I learned how to alchemize the negative energy I harbored for decades.
But life is always an ebb and flow (ask me about Pendulum Theory). Recently, Iāve been overwhelmed by negative energy again, and itās once again holding me back.
I needed to hear these words from my own mouth again. Itās time to transmute all my heartache and pain.
Please catch the full replay of this amazing episode featuring @watzrealthehapa @kingreegz @mcpauze @honest_in_10land @butchswim and @shreyz.z
Itās chock full of panels on the music industry + mental health and outstanding musical performances.
Twitch.tv/thecomplexsf
šāÆļøš«
15 Sep 2023
This was the last video I posted on my original IG before it got hacked and was written about a year ago to serve as a sort of mantra to address the key struggles of my personal growth journey.
Since then, there have been plenty of ups and downs, so I wanted to repost this for two reasons.
1. To learn how to add captions to my videos which could also end up being useful for my business.
2. To remind myself of the power I have when I shed the limiting beliefs and behaviors of Chris and embrace the infinite potential of Chi.
28 Mar 2022
In this clip from Episode 2 of @thebiggestsmalltalk , @shaytimothysun shares stories throughout his life of people who could see through masks, people pleasing, and performances.
This taught him the power of authenticity and how people who are attuned to realness will naturally connect with those who unapologetically show the world who they really are.
Follow @thebiggestsmalltalk for more highlights of the deepest conversations in 20 minutes with full episodes to come on Youtube!
šāÆļøš«
#nervoussystemregulation #blackandasiansolidarity #thebiggestsmalltalk #deepconversations #realtalk
07 Nov 2026
Welcome to THE BIGGEST SMALL TALK
There has been such a shift in attention spans that content creators have been conditioned to speak faster and create short, rapid fire, get to the point or Iām tuning out videos.
But for anybody out there like me, there isnāt enough space for vivid detail, context, and gravitas.
Iām starved for depth!!!
The kind of conversations that bring new perspectives and knowledge. The kind that can change lives⦠or by ripple effect⦠maybe even the world š!
I believe every person has wisdom that can make a difference to someone, so Iāll be wandering about and bringing you a mixture of guests I encounter randomly and friends who want to share their most powerful thoughts.
So hereās the challenge:
The deepest, most meaningful conversation we can possibly have in 20 minutes or less.
The topics are completely up to the guests. They can go anywhere they like! It could be the telling of a story, sharing of a theory, asking a question, anything goes!
The more unique and thought-provoking, the better!!! š¤
So I saw Eli sitting and reading a book at Lake Merritt. My intuition told me to challenge him.
He was the perfect first guest.
A mystic who has written 19 books, Eli speaks about everything from past lives to how to live this one with true presence.
Hereās a brief clip from our incredible conversation.
Follow @thebiggestsmalltalk for full episodes and profound highlights!
šāÆļøš«
#deepconversations #mystic #randomstranger #thebiggestsmalltalk #meaningfulconnection
06 Nov 2026
A little reflection on where the love beganšŖāØ
Hip Hop has always been more than music to me. Itās a culture, a connection, and a way of life.
š„ Live from The Complex SF Freestyle Flow Fest Show on Twitch & YouTubeāØāØ
#womeninhiphop #hiphopcommunity #hiphopculture #hiphopunderground #thecomplexsf
03 Nov 2026
@chi.infinite #freeform #freestyle #freeyourmindĀ®
01 Nov 2026
Thereās this @ericclapton song that really resonated with me when I was a sad, friendzoned college kid.
My emo Pisces ass would be singing along to it all in his feels and shit:
āIf I could change the world, I would be the sunlight in your universe. You would think my love was really something good, baby if I could change⦠the world.ā
I sang it. I wished it. I dreamed it.
The more I loved, the more alone I was.
I recently had an epiphany. I had that ass backwards.
If I thought my love was really something good⦠baby then I would change the world.
Thereās this Rumi quote about how our purpose is not to search for love but to remove all the barriers weāve built to love.
I found a fuckton of subconscious barriers, and Iāve been systematically dissolving them.
But at the root of it, love fuels positive action, and Iām struggling to take consistent positive action because I have negative belief structures about love.
I believe my love burns everything⦠and so I dim it, shade it, and withhold it.
So thatās the limiting belief Iām working on now.
I heard this song at @danceoween that got me thinking about all this.
āWhat the world needs now is love, sweet love. Itās the only thing that thereās just too little of.ā
Fuck. If thatās true then why am I putting only 10% of my love into the world yo???
šāÆļøš«
01 Nov 2026
Happy Halloween from @freestyleflowfest!
What happens when Wednesday Adams gets dropped into a medieval castle? Let @coleywater show ya!
In this classic challenge from FFF13, each emcee spun a wheel two times to determine a random setting and horror icon.
Straight off the top, they had to freestyle their own original horror movie š„šæš» over an instrumental by @dr._knosis
Want more? Check out this challenge on Youtube by searching for āFreestyle Flow Fest 13ā and our latest Halloween episode āFreestyle Flow Fest 23.ā
#rapchallenge #freestylerap #funnyhalloween #horrormovie #freestyleflowfest
31 Oct 2026
Happy Halloween from @freestyleflowfest!
What happens when Ashās hand from the Evil Dead series gets loose aboard a space station? @janethemessage grabs the mic and paints a picture!
In this classic challenge from FFF13, each emcee spun a wheel two times to determine a random setting and horror icon.
Straight off the top, they had to freestyle their own original horror movie š„šæš» over an instrumental by @dr._knosis
Want more? Check out this challenge on Youtube by searching for āFreestyle Flow Fest 13ā and our latest Halloween episode āFreestyle Flow Fest 23.ā
#rapchallenge #freestylerap #funnyhalloween #horrormovie #freestyleflowfest
30 Oct 2026
For most of my adult life, Iāve kept it secret how much I love Star Trek: The Next Generation.
People already saw me as a nerd. I didnāt want to feed into that stereotype.
But the truth is, I learned so much about life and how to be a good human being from that show.
It shaped the vision of the future I dreamt of.
No one played a bigger role in that than @sirpatstew.
He showed me a kind of masculine charisma and leadership that I could get on board with.
And he learned from his cast mates how to let loose and be playful, developing a keen sense of humor that created such a delightful juxtaposition with his general poise and gravitas.
Reflecting on his passing, it really feels like the end of an era⦠definitive proof that my formative years are long gone.
Itās hard to believe humanity is where it is right now when so much wisdom was shared in that show decades ago.
Patrick Stewart and Jean-Luc Picard stood for so much that would do our society good today.
Itās nice to take a moment to honor that legacy and remember whatās possible today.
šāÆļøš«
30 Oct 2026
Happy Halloween from @freestyleflowfest!
What happens when Jack Skellington is placed in a colorful cartoon world? @nitty420_fan_page aka @bayareaplug420 has some ideas!
In this classic challenge from FFF13, each emcee spun a wheel two times to determine a random setting and horror icon.
Straight off the top, they had to freestyle their own original horror movie š„šæš» over an instrumental by @dr._knosis
Want more? Check out this challenge on Youtube by searching for āFreestyle Flow Fest 13ā and our latest Halloween episode āFreestyle Flow Fest 23.ā
#rapchallenge #freestylerap #horrormoviefan #halloweensong #freestyleflowfest
30 Oct 2026
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